Some sort of intellectual drought, apparently. Seriously, why is it I have these creative highs during which I basically can’t contain myself from writing dozens of entries every single day, and then again a complete drought hits me and bam, it’s over. It’s over until five long months later, I’m suddenly back again. Back in full glory, that is. I don’t have the answer to that question (quite tricky, huh?), I can just say that you should be happy my blog-abstinence is officially over. I myself can’t tell what the incentive was this time ’round for me to start rambling on here again, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m here, right now. And what might interest you is what I’ve been up to the past five months. I’ll try to sum up what happened in these months in brief paragraphs that only contain the real essence of what was important in each month. (But y’all know how bad I am at keeping it short.)

Let’s start with cold and depressing January. (Emphasis on depressing!) What a blast I had back then. No, wait, actually I didn’t. January was horrible. January was when I sank to a new level of patheticness. When I did something that I still regret so much that it almost hurts thinking about it. Want to know what? Well, that’s my dirty little secret. (Though it’s not dirty, only sad. Utterly sad.) Let’s only say that I lost all my dignity for something that wasn’t worth it. And that, my dear friends, led to an incredibly hurtful drop in my self-esteem. The snowy and rainy weather didn’t help either. School was going well, as always. Other than that, I can’t remember anything special happening in January. Except me being in that horrible place that I never in my life want to return to.

February wasn’t all that spectacular either. In what were my final ‘Semesterferien’ (no fitting translation here, sorry guys!) I went to Vienna to spice up my oh so exciting life. Long story short: I didn’t manage, even though I really tried hard to change something. I went swimming in my aunt’s pool, I read a book about prime numbers and got hooked with Mathematics (who knew that would happen?), I hit a creative high and wrote about 15 of the best pages of fiction that I’ve ever written (and who thought that would happen?). Other than that, February was bo-yawn-ring. Sadly so, but that’s the truth. Mission Spice Up Life needed to be postponed till at least March due to some difficulties. (Ah, not to forget: February was the month I had ‘Stellung’. Meaning I went to the military so they could tell me how fitting I was. Fitting to be the next super-soldier. Funny thing. Not such a fan of the military, though. But still it was fun, fun, fun! And they told me I’d make a great soldier! … Yeah, like that’d ever happen.)

March… March. Wait, there was something in March. Hmm, let me think… ah, my birthday! Yeah, right, finally I turned 18. What a wonderful thing. Other than feeling some sense of freedom, that really didn’t mean anything to me. I almost found myself being alienated by the thought of feeling ‘adult’ just because I now happened to be 18 and it said so on my ID. I was basically still the same person. Now these five past months here, that’s a whole other story. These five months, no matter with how much sarcasm I comment on them here, changed me as a person. I matured, I really did. But again, that didn’t have anything to do with that insignificant number that I consider my age. March… was still somehow exciting. I celebrated my birthday together with Jassi - sweet, innocent Jassi - in a cool location that a friend of my stepfather’s owns. I got some money when I turned 18; money that had been on a bank account since I was 12 (that was when I was involved in an ugly, almost fatal car accident)… money that I was given by my insurance company back then. A few days later I could start redecorating my room. One wall is now elegantly painted in a dark blue (the other walls are beige); I bought some furniture and an orgasmic LCD TV (excuse my language, but if you saw it you’d understand). Oh, and a Blu Ray player. I didn’t know I would even notice the difference, but ever since, I fell in love with HD. March also marked an all new high concerning the success I had in school. 100 out of 100 points in English, 48 out of 48 points in Mathematics. Not that it matters, but it was still good to know I at least didn’t have to worry about my grades when the year was to come to an end. (Concerning school it came to an end, that’s what I mean.)

… which it basically did in April. April was a month that saw us soon-to-be ‘Maturanten’ growing more and more anxious towards the… well, the ‘Matura’. We counted the days. We studied like crazy people. We tried to console each other. We tried to save our remaining braincells (damage control, anyone?). We had nightmares. It was intense. In fact, this pre-Matura time took the word ‘intensity’ to a whole new level. (In retrospective, that’s funny. Very funny, that is.) April was also the month that finally gave me closure in that ugly matter that had cost me all my dignity back in January (see above). April was mostly school-centered, and quite abundantly so. Quite logical, given the fact that it was one of the final months of school.

May; that’s where we are right now. May takes everything you read in the preceding paragraphs to a yet another whole new level. The written Matura, for example; it’s over now, it’s done. Eight years it had been approaching inexorably, and suddenly, and quite mercilessly, it was only one night before it all was to finally start. It was an unrealistic experience. Starting with German (we had to write an argumentative essay based on a very, very difficult - almost cryptic - impulse article!), continuing with Math (hallelujah, never been so scared in my entire life!), resuming with English (aw, love it, though the listening comprehension with the fancy, largely incomprehensible British accent was just plain mean!) and ending in a grand finale avec Français (which I admit I was very nervous about, given the fact that this marked the subject that I least expected to get a good grade in… I’m still curious as to how well I did in the end). Today, we write the 23rd of May. I’m returning to blogging here. (Or maybe not, still have to make my mind up about that. At least it looks like it.) And maybe, only maybe, something great has started. Maybe, my life is taking a turn. Maybe mission Spice Up Life finally worked. We’ll see. One thing these five past months taught me was not to expect too much, and not to über-analyze everything that comes my way in life, thereby ruining it. So, only time will tell. To the next five months!

Thanks for reading this, folks. These are my thoughts, btw, only my bare thoughts, and I get that they might seem very incoherent to some of you. (Most of you, I guess.) I’ll try to keep it more simple in the future. Though just like shortness, simplicity isn’t really one of my great strengths.